An Open Letter to Pope Benedict

Dear Ratzy,

I have a good solution to the clergy abuse scandal rocking your church.

Give them professional level sexual satisfaction for free.

It wouldn't have to be a big deal, just hire a few monastic courtesans, skilled in the art of priestly fulfillment. You would only need one for every 20 or so priests, along with a nice little "confessional" complete with glory hole.

You could create a liturgy for the sessions and it could begin something like this:

"Release me Sister for I am tense. It has been four days since my last emanation."

Sister Candi could then assign the proper penance.

I've even thought through the financial aspects of this.

The Great Cincinnati Archdiocese alone just paid a $120 million settlement to abuse victims. Since there are about 500 priests in the Cincinnati area, that works out to $240,000 per priest.

Ouch! Hope those relics do well at Christy's.

My solution would be much more economical-25 or so "servants" at $50,000 per year each would only take up $1.25 million per year-less than the interest on the $120 mil you just forked over.

Consider how much this would help the church.

I'm sure you will have some argue this is sin. Well, isn't that why you invented the indulgence? You've got the power, use it! You're the guy with the scepter.

Or you could try a second option:

JUST LET PRIESTS GET MARRIED.

The choice is yours, O Vicar of Christ.

Kevin Scott is the owner of http://www.WhoreChurch.com exposing the luncacy going on in the name of Christ. Visit now for a whole new perspective on your faith. You might get mad, but it will surely make you think.

MORE RESOURCES:

Link between Religion and Terror - Seattle Post Intelligencer

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How religion can help the Middle East - guardian.co.uk

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True Religion to Present at 11th Annual ICR XChange Conference - WELT ONLINE

Burris, Race, Religion, And The Senate - Huffington Post

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Religion on your own terms - WFAE.org

Atheists Annoyed by Inaugural Oath - Washington Post

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Scientologists Defend Travolta and Their Religion - Examiner.com

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Redemption, Religion, and Reconsideration with Director Carlos ... - Village Voice

Obama#39;s take on religion has some miffed - News Chief

table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=Tct=us/8-0fd=Rurl=http://www.newschief.com/article/20090107/NEWS/901070316/1022/LIVING%3FTitle%3DObama_s_take_on_religion_has_some_miffedcid=1287118650ei=3TllSfmrF4HAwAHp74yVAgusg=AFQjCNEMjKQOVd7jSH6Ersk07LGQmfrVbAObama#39;s take on breligion/b has some miffed/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fNews Chief,nbsp;FLnbsp;-/font nobr13 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1By PAUL C. CAMPOS Barack Obama got himself into hot water recently with various liberal groups by inviting evangelical preacher Rick Warren to deliver the b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=Tct=us/8-1fd=Rurl=http://www.beyondchron.org/news/index.php%3Fitemid%3D6456cid=1287118650ei=3TllSfmrF4HAwAHp74yVAgusg=AFQjCNHNOFZQMu1xjUv-efd5AN4c5WEA3wKeep God Out of the Swearing-in!/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrBeyond Chron/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=Tct=us/8-2fd=Rurl=http://religionblog.dallasnews.com/archives/2009/01/martin-marty-stages-a-public-p.htmlcid=1287118650ei=3TllSfmrF4HAwAHp74yVAgusg=AFQjCNE4iVr8h5lIFVLPgdCiOmnA4iYjSwMartin Marty stages a public policy debate between Barack Obama b.../b/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrDallas Morning News/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=Tct=us/8-3fd=Rurl=http://www.communitytimes.com/link.asp%3Fsmenu%3D67%26twindow%3DDefault%26sdetail%3D6811%26mad%3DNo%26wpage%3D1%26skeyword%3D%26sidate%3Dcid=1287118650ei=3TllSfmrF4HAwAHp74yVAgusg=AFQjCNHrnaXtKMRGrnTslsMrE56P32G65wRick Warren should evolve/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrBaltimore Community Times/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1 class=pa href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=Tct=us/8-4fd=Rurl=http://www.usnews.com/blogs/god-and-country/2009/01/06/left-and-right-insist-rick-warrens-no-billy-graham.htmlcid=1287118650ei=3TllSfmrF4HAwAHp74yVAgusg=AFQjCNHbXdPwHaMSIb1drvTGyd1kcUIR7QnobrU.S. News World Report/nobr/anbsp;- a href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=Tct=us/8-5fd=Rurl=http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/01/06/lorence.warren/cid=1287118650ei=3TllSfmrF4HAwAHp74yVAgusg=AFQjCNFxFocmqNPyYLJQv1pvZI759XOnAgnobrCNN/nobr/a/fontbr/font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1287118650hl=ennobrall 51 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table

Ruling on marijuana, religion faces review - Tucson Citizen

table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=Tct=us/9i-0fd=Rurl=http://www.wnct.com/nct/lifestyles/faith_values/article/ohio_court_rejects_priests_appeal_in_nun_killing/27611/cid=1287653712ei=3TllSfmrF4HAwAHp74yVAgusg=AFQjCNG0_ls1uZYjPth8kv65y8hjHEGiqgimg src=http://nt3.ggpht.com/news?imgefp=g85PzYm2QZEJimgurl=media.wnct.com/wnct/img-story/images/uploads/Blind_Justice_Background_AP.jpg width=80 height=60 alt= border=1brfont size=-2WNCT/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=Tct=us/9-0fd=Rurl=http://www.tucsoncitizen.com/ss/fromcomments/106931.phpcid=1287653712ei=3TllSfmrF4HAwAHp74yVAgusg=AFQjCNGcO3HHwb4m__v134OzTqdYLG6P2gRuling on marijuana, breligion/b faces review/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fTucson Citizen,nbsp;AZnbsp;-/font nobr15 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1AP PHOENIX - The Arizona Supreme Court agreed Tuesday to review a lower court#39;s ruling that there is no constitutional right to use marijuana for religious b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=Tct=us/9-1fd=Rurl=http://www.azstarnet.com/allheadlines/274827cid=1287653712ei=3TllSfmrF4HAwAHp74yVAgusg=AFQjCNGItswaAsyCwU9Jnve8aEIp1NI8eQReligious- pot case is headed to Ariz. justices/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrArizona Daily Star/nobr/font/fontbrfont class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1287653712hl=ennobrall 13 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table

Religion - Google News

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